Monday, July 24, 2006

friendship ..friendship

I have been thinking about this lately:

Moving Into A New Phase: Outgrowing Friends

Every one of us lives a life colored by individual and changing experiences, perceptions, needs, and desires. We connect with others, becoming friends and confidants, most often because they share something with us, such as an interest or need. But as time goes on there is change, and the bonds that brought you close to a treasured friend may not be enough to sustain the relationship. You may find your lives have gone in wildly different directions and you no longer share the same aspirations, or you may have changed on an energetic level. It is not unusual in such a situation to find that the comfort you found in the other person has vanished and that you have trouble relating as you once did. Outgrowing a friend can be confusing or painful, but it is a natural part of one's personal growth.

You have a right to choose to surround yourself with those people who understand you, are helpful and compassionate, and put you at ease. Months or years into a friendship, you may find your friend no longer seems like the same person he or she once was. The change may have been within them, but may also have come from within you. Moving on does not mean that your past shared experiences were not meaningful or important to you both, but rather it acknowledges your needs in the present. Ending a friendship can be difficult. You may not feel comfortable explaining your reasons for doing so. Even so, you can still be kind, respectful, and considerate, and simply state that you can no longer devote time to the friendship. When you have made the conscious decision to let go of the relationship, it will most likely happen naturally.

The people who are or have been a part of your life each taught you something. Some friendships are long-term while others are brief. In all relationships, however, it is important to embrace changes and to let go of regrets. While you may outgrow the need to maintain a friendship with someone who was once very special to you, that person will nonetheless always occupy a place in your heart.

1 comment:

Dan-san said...

I asked Father Greg that once. If it was alright to let go of friends that you are not growing with anymore. More growing apart than anything. He said something along 'Yes', if that makes you a better and happier person.

I've let go of some friends because they've become a negative part of my life than positive. It was hard and painful. But I believe I have grown to be a better person out of it.

Then there are those friends who are on hold at the moment. Merely for the fact that they won't budge and say sorry. I'm still a little hurt. C'est la vie.

Why the thought Tin?